Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas In The Valley

Everyone I talked to recently is going home for Christmas. I pride myself on being backwards in most things, and so I made my family come to me.
Parents fly free for airline employees, and so my mother has been out to see me a few times now. Getting my father on a plane is a more difficult task, as he's been a pilot longer than I've been alive. Planes are a day at the office for him. But he ponied up and flew for four hours, and I met them both at the SLC airport.
First thing they wanted to do was go see where I snowboard. I think they wanted to see what would eventually become my final resting place. We stood at the bottom of the bunny slope and I pointed at this turn and that turn, saying how much fun it was. It took me a few moments to notice that they'd both turned a little green.
"We're buying you a helmet," my mom says.

I had to get 'em in the snow somehow, and snowboarding wasn't gonna be it. So we went tubing. My mother and I had done that last year, and my father went along with it, though if he was eager, I couldn't tell. This time a blizzard kicked up, and it stung all the way down for the two of us that weren't wearing the one pair of goggles I brought along. Dad had a good time, though he seemed to be looking for the beer cooler sometimes, because that's how we Southerners go tubing. And we had hot chocolate inside a yurt, which is a bizarre experience for three Louisianians.

And all too soon, they had to go back home. So merry Christmas from me and my family, and especially to my sister, who stayed home to take care of the horses so mom and dad could come visit. Your visit is next, and it contains a snowboard...

Saturday, December 20, 2008

If You're Drinking, Captain, I'm Deplaning Now

This couldn't have gone any better if I had done it on purpose.
It happened during our beverage service. I was the aft FA, which means that the cart was between me and the galley. It was a morning flight, which means we soon ran out of coffee. The forward FA, a great gal, headed to the galley to refill the coffee, and while she was there, a passenger asked me for a margarita. We make those things with mixers, none of which I happened to have in the cart, so I called the forward over the intercom and said, "Hey, can you bring me a margarita?"
She paused. "Really?"
Some folk in Utah just haven't come around to early morning drinking yet. "Really," I said. "Thanks!"
What you have to know about the intercom is that anyone can call anyone from anywhere. I waited for a few minutes, watching her doodle around in the galley, and eventually she got on the intercom and called the flight deck. She cocked her head, looked confused, and then headed back to the cart with the coffee.
"The captain just asked me to bring him a margarita, and I think he was serious!" she said.
Maybe I'm a jerk, but I never told her what really happened.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

They're From The Wrong Side Of The Plane

One of the things we say that no one listens to is where the life vests are. And in addition to not listening to that, passengers also don't listen to where the infant life vests are. On our particular aircraft, they're located in the overhead bins above seats C and D. That's how I say it. "The infant life vests are located in the overhead bins above seats C and D." Just like that. Some people say it differently, though, as I found out last week: this FA I was working with explained over the intercom that "the infant life vests are located in the overhead bins on the CD side of the plane." Oddly enough, for the whole four-day trip, no one was insulted.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Overhead Bin Games

When you get on a plane, you put your stuff in an overhead bin. And I, not so very different from you, do the same thing. And because of this, two things always happen. First one is that there's always some Samaritous gentleperson who, on their way off the plane, mentions that someone left their bag, which is actually a good thing, but after 19 of those people, you just start nodding sleepily. Second one is that when I'm fishing my OK! Magazine out of my bag on a long leg, the person whose bag is on top of mine always stares at me as if I'm stealing something out of his bag.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Two Things I Haven't Shown You Yet

I know I've mentioned that the Denver Airport is made out of a big tent, but I never got a picture of the inside of it until just now. Here, observe:

Also, I've talked about the de-icing trucks (which are actually emblazoned DEICE, but I spell it differently so no one asks me what a deese is), but I never got a picture of one of those until just now. Here one is: