Saturday, August 02, 2008

Why I'm Jealous Of Southwest

OK. I haven't ever mentioned who I work for, so that if my chief ever finds this blog, she won't fire me. But I will tell you that I don't work for Southwest, so that I can then tell you that I'm jealous of them. Why, you ask? It's not the polo shirts and khaki shorts. I would look perfectly horrible in that getup, as I suspect most people would. Nope, I'm jealous that they get to say any damn thing they want. Things like, "There are fifty ways to leave your lover, but only four ways off my aircraft." Or one of my other favorites, on landing: "Whew." At my airline, we're held to more professional-sounding (read: stuffy) standards.
But the other day I jumped ship on a Southwest plane, and heard something I really really wish I could say. The FA was beginning the service, and asked everyone to please have their drink selection ready when she got to them. "We are all out of 'what do you have,'" she said. Damn I wish I could say that.

4 Comments:

Anonymous sandtalker said...

I had a SW flight land a little "harshly" one trip, and the FA came on with this announcement: That bump you felt was not the Pilots fault... It wasn't the Co-Pilots fault... It was the Asphalt! That was Much better than learning the local time...

10:09 PM  
Anonymous Linn said...

... although you once gave us the tail number of one of your airplanes, which makes it child's play to figure out exactly where you work. We won't tell though ;-)

2:35 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

Sand: That's another good one I can't say. Dammit.
Linn: Yeah, I did that, didn't I. I've never been accused of being all that smart. If I had been, I probably wouldn't be a flight attendant!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Tracy Salas said...

You've also shown us the top quarter of your ID badge letting those of us who've worked in the industry know exactly who you work for....plus the livery of your aircraft, plus the interior.....I promise not to tell either!!

9:10 PM  

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