Since the dawn of man, all humans have known someone who had a friend who was a flight attendant. Here, now, I am that friend.I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
I had been dreading this day. And today was it. This morning, during the first announcement, I forgot where the hell we were going. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on board Alpha-Bits Airlines Flight 666, with service to BOOP." I had nothing. It was gone. Fifty cabbage heads were staring at me, waiting to find out for where they were destined. Felt like I was in A Christmas Story. Luckily, this was one of the two-FA planes, and the other one leaned casually over and whispered the answer into the PA. Not sure if that made her helpful or a jerk, but the passengers were laughing so hard that I didn't really have to find out.
posted by Phil at 1:56 AM
6 Comments:
Only one destination for Flight #666, buddy! L.M.
Do it with flair and most of the passengers will think it's just part of the schtick. Next time just say "The North Pole" or "The Moon" or somewhere else your airplane definitely doesn't go. Six passengers will laugh, the rest will feel a little gypped for having not being listening and missed the joke, and then you may actually have their attention as you tell them how to put on a seat belt.
(After ten years of giving passenger briefings, I've discovered that everyone knows how to put on a seatbelt and how to tighten it, but many passengers do not know how to loosen a seatbelt without a) unbuckling it or b) carefully feeding the loose end back through the buckle.)
This information can actually be important. I had a friend once who managed to get on the wrong plane some how in Brasil and only found out he was on the wrong plane when they made the announcement and then had to run off with his giant picture and back across the airport to the right one.
Avia: You remind me of a thing I did in FA school. I was called upon to demonstrate the 'welcome aboard' announcement, and not being able to do anything without a bumper crop of sarcasm, said, "with service to Tatooine." The instructor waited till I was done, complimented me on my speaking voice, and then asked in all seriousness, "Do we fly to Tatooine now?"
Also, it's TRUE! Passengers can all put ON a seatbelt, but when the plane lands, most of them do the John Candy thing from Spaceballs... "OOOOHHH THAT's gonna leave a mark!"
Aku: Now and again we save somebody's life with that announcement. But most of the time we just end up taking them to Tierra Del Fuego because they were iPodded.
I don't get how you can end up on the wrong plane. Don't they have to scan your ticket at the gate before they let you on?
Reminds me of a flight I was on once where the pilot announced during the taxi from the gate to the runway: "Cabin crew please take landi... uh... take off position." I guess he knew where he was going.
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