Monday, March 10, 2008

A New Class Of Stupid

Lately I've been running into these clowns that evidently have been taught that the more times you make someone ask you something, the more important you are. I'll ask what they want to drink and get nothing. I assume they didn't hear me (though they're just reading and are not iPodded) and repeat, and then they'll calmly look up at me in a way that tells me 'yes I heard you the first time, I just didn't answer.' I've thought of several explanations. One is that they're a king in a foreign land, and it breaks all manner of tribal tradition to answer the door on the first knock. Another is that my dashing good looks have created a tiny black hole right there between me and the foreign clown king, and it just takes several seconds for my first question to travel backwards and then forwards in time and reach their ears. But the one I'm going with is that these poor people have been born with a shortage of brain cells, and the computing power necessary to decode a question like 'whaddya want to drink?' monopolizes them, ensuring that nothing else can happen during the decoding process. So while it may look outwardly like they're smarmy elitist self-proclaimed royalty, they're actually humbly and furiously diagramming what I said inside their skull.
It's good I came up with that. I'd hate to think they were being rude.


Blogger AkuTyger said...

There is something about dealing with a second language all the time that makes your brain naturally take in stuff and process it later. I know sometimes people will ask me a question in English and it takes about 10 seconds for the language to find the right path in my brain and by the time it has been processed, I find my mouth already reacted and said "What?" and then I realized I did in fact hear and understood.

Then there is the other side of it when I am so used to ambiguity in conversations that I just smile and nod and don't even put the effort into listening to what was said, which results in confusions where someone might tell me something important or ask my a question and I completely miss it and cannot remember what was said. You're brain gets lazy.

7:04 AM  

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