We In The Same World Here, Sir?

We've already established that a great portion of the reason passengers exist is to ask me for strange things. Most of these things are just silly (Vaseline for buttocks, say), but sometimes they ask for stuff that make you wonder if they're on the same planet as you. For example, a few days ago I pass by this fellow that gestures at me with an apple and asks me if he can have a knife. A knife. You know, the kind of implement that can cause death if you stick it in, say, a pilot. The reason I still have this job is my ability to say one thing and think another. What I said was, "Nope, no sir. No knives on board. Sorry!"
What I thought was, "Sure, sir, lemme go get you one. They're right next to the rocket launchers."