That Thing That Lady Asked Me

Once while I was trying to keep the last row of passengers calm from that very conspicuous brace position, a lady mean-spiritedly laughed that "it was all right for the crew, because they have parachutes." I laughed back at that for a moment, and that moment ended when I realized she was serious. She seriously thought there were three parachutes on board for us. I never went to jump school in the army, but I wanted to, and I heard lots of stories about how rigorous and exacting the training is when they teach you to bail out of a plane. Knowing that, I cannot even imagine having to go through that training with some of the cotton balls I was in FA school with.
So no, Virginia, there are no parachutes on the plane. But between you and me (and if you've read this far, you already know this about me), I'd totally bail out of one of our jets. It would be the party plane, of course.