Since the dawn of man, all humans have known someone who had a friend who was a flight attendant. Here, now, I am that friend.The Bed Is Dead! Long Live The Bed!
The air mattress days had at last come to an end.
Since I had finally moved out of the stink pit apartment, it was time to buy a bed. Took a stroll through our new Ikea here in SLC. All their furniture is named in Scandinavian, and so I bought a MALM bedframe, complete with real birch veneer. That's just fun to say. MALM MALM. And being the procrastinator I am, I hadn't done any of the research on mattresses, so I just threw the air mattress I'd been sleeping on into the frame and waited for the research to do itself.
What you have to know about that air mattress is this: a while back, a loud pop woke me up in the middle of the night. Went back to bed, and in the morning I discovered that one of the places where the top was quilted to the bottom had come loose, leaving a small section of the mattress puffed up like a balloon. Didn't pay it much attention. But over the next six months while I was paying attention to other things, one by one, all the quilts began to follow suit, until it finally looked like this:
It looks like there's already someone in that bed. Every time I came home from a trip and walked into the bedroom with no lights on, I panicked and threw a ninja kick at it. Sleeping was an ordeal. I'd wake up either convex or concave in the morning. Or rolled into the gap between the mattress and the frame. And getting out of bed had turned into a strange windmilling affair, usually ending in carpet burn. Something had to be done.
Enter the Sealy Sea Ridge Ultra Plush.
Did a lot of shopping, and of course it turned out to be from the place I went first. Driving home with it was fun. Just like in college... I twined it to the top of the car through the windows, and drove 20 MPH holding onto it out the window. I was that driver you all hate. Getting it into the apartment was even funnier. There's really only one way to drag a mattress up two flights of stairs. But once it was up there... wow. 60x80 inches of ultra plush glory. And for a mattress named after a ridge, it sure is great to sleep on.
Pretty snazzy, huh? Now if I could just remember that I don't have to windmill anymore...
Since I had finally moved out of the stink pit apartment, it was time to buy a bed. Took a stroll through our new Ikea here in SLC. All their furniture is named in Scandinavian, and so I bought a MALM bedframe, complete with real birch veneer. That's just fun to say. MALM MALM. And being the procrastinator I am, I hadn't done any of the research on mattresses, so I just threw the air mattress I'd been sleeping on into the frame and waited for the research to do itself.
What you have to know about that air mattress is this: a while back, a loud pop woke me up in the middle of the night. Went back to bed, and in the morning I discovered that one of the places where the top was quilted to the bottom had come loose, leaving a small section of the mattress puffed up like a balloon. Didn't pay it much attention. But over the next six months while I was paying attention to other things, one by one, all the quilts began to follow suit, until it finally looked like this:
It looks like there's already someone in that bed. Every time I came home from a trip and walked into the bedroom with no lights on, I panicked and threw a ninja kick at it. Sleeping was an ordeal. I'd wake up either convex or concave in the morning. Or rolled into the gap between the mattress and the frame. And getting out of bed had turned into a strange windmilling affair, usually ending in carpet burn. Something had to be done.Enter the Sealy Sea Ridge Ultra Plush.
Did a lot of shopping, and of course it turned out to be from the place I went first. Driving home with it was fun. Just like in college... I twined it to the top of the car through the windows, and drove 20 MPH holding onto it out the window. I was that driver you all hate. Getting it into the apartment was even funnier. There's really only one way to drag a mattress up two flights of stairs. But once it was up there... wow. 60x80 inches of ultra plush glory. And for a mattress named after a ridge, it sure is great to sleep on.
Pretty snazzy, huh? Now if I could just remember that I don't have to windmill anymore...
posted by Phil at 12:17 AM
2 Comments:
Very nice. I just hate to see "0 COMMENTS" at the end of every post. I must admit that for a while I had an inflatable mattress in my efficiency apt. in Indiana. It had to be periodically re-inflated every so often. See? I know. Then my parents came to visit and felt so sorry for me that my step-dad gave me some money to buy a real bed. Something about it in my case that said, "Loser." Of course, I didn't go straight to a real bed like you, I incrementally upgraded to a top of the line futon bed/sofa because of the studio apt. I still have it. The futon/sofa, not the apt. Later on, I got the real bed and frame and then got the futon a better (wooden) frame (as opposed to the metal one) and I did originally spring for the awesome designer cover.
Anyway, congratulations on "The Big Boy Bed."
Your bed, if I am not mistaken, is indeed Kat's bed.
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