Friday, October 05, 2007

More Different Ices

You can't leave ice in a plane overnight in the summer because you have a bag of water in the morning, and you can't leave ice in a plane overnight in the winter because you have a bag of bag-shaped diamond in the morning. So in the morning when you pick up an airplane for its first flight of the day (or FFOD), a sleepy ramper trudges out towards your plane with four bags of ice. And since they bring you this ice in many different cities, it's always ice from different ice-making companies. I really wish I'd been taking pictures of these, because some of the ice bag labels are hilarious. Some just have really bad art on them. Like I know it's supposed to be either a penguin or a polar bear because it's a bag of ice, but it really looks like a melting cow with a trumpet coming out of its ear and it kinda makes me sick to look at. Some of them tout their technological prowess at ice formulation. "Reverse carbon filtration and rapid de-oxygenization through nuclear atom-split osmosis results in a difference you can taste!" It's ice. Cold water. Unless Han Solo's in there, I don't want to hear about carbon.

Because I speak English, this one confused me immediately. I thought maybe the filtration process had leached out some of the grammar. "Me pour drink, put ice in drink. Mmm... that good ice!" And that should have been it, but on two hours of sleep, you can obsess over some dumb crap. I just couldn't let it go... why put that on the front of the bag? And so I was agitated throughout most of the drink service, until a lady in the last row, upon seeing that it was the chipped ice and not cubes, said, "Hey! That's that good ice!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you don't believe there's good ice and bad ice, I've got one word for you: Sonic! L.M.

7:21 AM  
Blogger Indigeaux said...

Actually, I believe Sonic's ice is refered to as "Bitchin'!" (So there's bad, good, and bitchin').

9:43 PM  
Blogger Ynaffit said...

This made me laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants.

2:28 PM  

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