Sunday, October 14, 2007

The Amazing International First Class Lady

The gate agent steps onto the plane and explains that there's a lady who was supposed to be in first class on the next flight, but opted to take a cabin seat on this flight so as to get there earlier. I say, "OK." Things like that happen all the time. First class ain't that great, and most frequent first class fliers know that, and so I assume she'll be that kind of laid back. Wrong. I identify her immediately by the strut, and the way she's flipping around a feather boa that seems to be invisible. "You just let me know if there's any first class seats available," she says, "because I'm supposed to be in first class." I try hard not to tell her that that's what they all say and nod her back to the cabin.
Five minutes into flight, the captain signals ten thousand feet, and the other FA and I get up and start preparing the drink cart. A call button goes off. I go back to see what's up. It's this lady. And she announces to the cabin, "I'll have a scotch and soda. I guess there's no service back here in coach on this flight." I answer that there is indeed service for the whole flight, and everyone will get a chance to order a drink in turn.
I'm pretty good with this whole drink service thing by now, and the other FA was older professionally than I am, and so finishing with first class and getting back to this lady took about six minutes. When I get about three rows away from her, I detect that she is still announcing to the cabin. I suspect that she has not ceased. I can hear her explaining to the poor fellow next to her that she just got back from Barcelona. "Well, when I took the international flight back from Barcelona, it was a much bigger plane than this." I hear her invoke the phrase 'international flight from Barcelona' no less than ten times while I'm within earshot of her. 'What a tool,' I think. The poor fellow next to her just shoots me a 'help me' look. When I finally get to her, she orders that scotch and soda, and then asks if there any way I could comp the drink, seeing as how she was supposed to be in first class and all. I sweetly reply that no, seeing as how she did not currently hold a first class ticket on this vessel, no matter where she thought she was supposed to be. Later, as we're heading back up the aisle, I hear her try that on the other FA, who I'm happy to report was about as understanding as I was.
I'm still trying to figure out a way that a flight from Barcelona that gets you to where you can get on a flight I'm on is not international. What a tool.


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