Misdirection At 30,000 Feet

There are certain things you have to do in life that aren't very nice, but you just have to do them in order to keep from going insane. One of them is something I've developed called the Backhand Ninja Carry, which is reserved for carrying water bottles to passengers who request one not during a service. You make an upward beak out of your hand behind one buttock, into which fits exactly one bottle of water. It's a complicated way of holding something, and requires more joules of energy than holding something in front of you. But it's not unnecessarily complicated, because if someone sees you bringing a water bottle to someone else, then they want one, and then the guy next to them wants one, and pretty soon you're doing a whole nother* service. It is always completely necessary to avoid this.
A variation of the BNC can be used to ferry blankets to single passengers. But if they ask for a pillow, you're totally hosed.

*Nother is not a word.