Thursday, February 08, 2007

Pilot Jokes

The pilots on this trip are funny ones. They got into it while we were eating dinner somewhere in Bellingham, and this is what I remember:

What's the difference between God and a pilot?
God doesn't think He's a pilot.

What's the difference between a first officer and a duck?
A duck can fly.

They also told a story about an unfortunate incident involving aircraft fuel and a flight attendant. See, one of the uniform shirts we can wear looks almost exactly like the shirts the pilots wear, and this one flight attendant was standing in the door when the gas truck pulled up. Thinking he was the pilot, they yelled, "How much fuel, Cap'n?"
The flight attendant, realizing he had absolutely no responsibility in the matter whatsoever, replied, "Top 'er off!"
And they did. When the actual pilots finished the ridiculously complex algebraic equation that determines to the atom how much fuel is really supposed to be in the plane and then discovered that the needle was on F, they had to call back the truck and defuel the plane.
Just this year they phased that shirt out, and now I think I know why.
Also, I got to hear how many new flight attendants they'd gotten to fall for the Row Seven Aerobics. That's when they call you up to the flight deck and explain that the back landing gear is a little sticky and won't come down. It's not an emergency situation, but what you need to do is you go back to about row seven and jump up and down until the gear comes loose. We'll call you when it's down, okay?
If you're wondering, I didn't fall for that one. Well, I almost did.


Anonymous zb said...

Thanks for the great entertainment. I actually had a hard time understanding the row seven thing until I re-read and noticed it was 'aerobics', not 'aerobatics'.

2:11 AM  

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