Since the dawn of man, all humans have known someone who had a friend who was a flight attendant. Here, now, I am that friend.More Things I Always Say
Some guy asks for filet (and there's always one guy that does this) - "Sorry, we only have Chilean Sea Bass today."
Some lady wants 'just a little ice' - Holding up the glass, "This ice little enough?"
We encounter sustained light chop - "I love it when they fly straight."
We encounter one light bump - "Potholes."
Someone wants Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew, neither of which we have - "Sorry! But if I were in charge, we'd have that."
Someone points at a drink they've brought when I ask them what they want - "Ah, I see you came prepared."
Some guy asks if we have decaf - "Nope, just the hard stuff."
Some lady from Jackson Hole wants lime with her club soda - "Sorry ma'am, no live fruit on the plane (for some reason, if the other flight attendant is gay [which is, of course, exceedingly rare], they always seem to think that's funny)."
Some lady wants 'just a little ice' - Holding up the glass, "This ice little enough?"
We encounter sustained light chop - "I love it when they fly straight."
We encounter one light bump - "Potholes."
Someone wants Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew, neither of which we have - "Sorry! But if I were in charge, we'd have that."
Someone points at a drink they've brought when I ask them what they want - "Ah, I see you came prepared."
Some guy asks if we have decaf - "Nope, just the hard stuff."
Some lady from Jackson Hole wants lime with her club soda - "Sorry ma'am, no live fruit on the plane (for some reason, if the other flight attendant is gay [which is, of course, exceedingly rare], they always seem to think that's funny)."
posted by Phil at 10:36 PM
1 Comments:
I'm the one who asks for "just a little ice." A) I don't like real cold drinks, it makes my teeth hurt. B) I thought I was being nice not hogging all the ice. L.M.
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