Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Karma On The Runway

So we don't just tell you to put your seatbelt on just to be jerks... it's so you don't fly into other passengers and crack their skulls with your own during certain dicey parts of the flight. One such part is takeoff, and that's really the only time I worry about making sure passengers are seated... most of the time, I figure I already warned ya, and if you can see your own brain after you tump over in the aisle, don't come crying to me. But during a flight today, some jackass decided to get up and go in the lav right as we're getting ready to take off. You've heard the captain say, "We're number two for takeoff," right? That means what you'd think it means... that planes converge on the runway in order, and you could deduce that if you were about to take off and suddenly couldn't for some reason (for instance, some jackass decides to get up and go in the lav), you could miss your chance and have to go around. And usually, the offending jackass gets away with it, because no one knows that during his jackassery, the flight attendant calls the flight deck in a panic and says, "STOP! DON'T TAKE OFF! THERE'S A JACKASS UP!" He just goes back and sits down, and everyone thinks it's our fault we're just sitting there.
Well, our captain was a swell gal, and she waited till this jackass was on his way past everyone back to his seat to say over the intercom, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've missed our chance to take off, and we'll have to wait now. That's why it's important to stay seated when our good flight attendants ask you to, and not be up going to the bathroom."
At that moment, fifty-odd people hated this guy. And if you're a jackass that can't read a seatbelt sign, you need to start every flight like this.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm starting a new phrase: "Jackass up!"


11:21 AM  

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