Saturday, February 03, 2007

Here's Sprite In Your Eye!

Since I open a lot of drink cans, I've been working on my one-handed ring-tab open, which comes in handy on the plane. The one thing that I haven't found a solution for is something I call the Every Tenth Can Explodes Syndrome, wherein every tenth can explodes (that name is temporary... just until I can find a more accurate scientific name). It's really less of an explosion and more of a deviously smart and carbonated missile, which rockets directly from the can to the object I'd like to strike least at the time. Most of the time it's funny... someone will be reading a book and a tiny chunk of Coke will peg them in the head, and they'll look around for a while to see what happened. Holding a straight face is of the utmost importance during these times. Other times it's not so funny... whenever someone is in an expensive suit, for example, the drink always goes on the suit. Once I got some club soda on someone, and couldn't think of what to use to get it off (they deserved it, asking for spahkling woo-tah).
Other times it can be downright excrutiating, as you might infer from the title of this entry.
I was serving an older couple, and the lady wanted some Sprite. So far, so good. I throw down the one-handed ring-tab open (or the OHRTO), and the Sprite chambers a round and nails me right in the eye. It feels a lot like you would imagine liquid hot magma feeling, if it were in your eye. I could not stop screaming, because it was a ten on the hurtometer, but I also couldn't stop laughing, because what are the odds, right? They couldn't stop laughing either, and so we sat there laughing while my eye socket smoked.
As I came back by the couple for refills, the guy said he'd take another granola bar, but only if I didn't put it in my eye. Ha ha.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, club soda is what you use to REMOVE certain stains, so no harm done. Cross my heart!


9:39 AM  

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