Bonsai Report #1

What you're looking at here...

... is dirt.
One of the things I got for X-Mas was a bonsai tree kit. I had never gotten one of those (because I knew I would kill it), and so it's pure chutzpah that made me actually start this one in spite of my new not-in-one-place-long-enough-to-care-for-a-plant-or-get-any-sleep lifestyle. There are lots of things to do with bonsai seeds... you can't just dump 'em in some dirt. It's gotta be bonsai peat, and you have to soak the seeds for a day in purified water and then refrigerate them for a week in what's called the 'cold stratification' process.

VADER: Well, Calrissian? Are they alive?
LANDO: Yes... and in perfect cold stratification.

It's supposed to fool them into thinking it's Spring. What I think fool really applies to in this case is me, for trying to outwit a thing the size of a pinhead that does not actually have a brain. You can see two seeds in this picture, because that's all I put in there. When they grow, the destructions say to pull out the weaker one to save resources for the stronger one. That's very samurai, but when the time comes, I don't know if I'll have the heart. I think I'd rather have two Charlie Brown trees than one well-proportioned tree with blood on its hands.
Stay tuned...