OK, You Knew This Entry Was Coming

This time we're gonna talk about the kinds of passengers not to be.

The Hum-Bruh: if I'm standing in front of you dressed like a flight attendant, on a plane, with a drink cart and a drink in each hand, what do you think I just asked you? This guy never fails to pull his iPod out of his ears and give me the 'I'm sorry, what?' with his eyebrows. A variant is the Double Hum-Bruh, who immediately re-iPods and then does the whole thing again when I ask what snack he wants. Stack a bunch of these in two rows and you get a beverage service that lasts way longer than it should.
The Indecibel: contributing to the aformentioned way-longedness, this guy just makes his lips flap around in the shape of words, rather than actually saying what kind of drink he wants. Most often he'll do it three times in a row, before howling what he wasn't saying out loud before, like it was your fault you didn't hear what he didn't say.
The Game Show Contestant: it's a drink. That's all it is. You already know what drink you gravitate towards. So why, then, should you have to look skyward and stroke your beard in thought to decide what you want, like this guy does? A variant of this one is the Inspector, who will peer into the drink cart while making the all-important decision, and a further subclass is the Out Of Turn Inspector, who will peer into the cart while someone else is making the decision, which is just creepy.
The Delusional Self-Important Guy: sometimes you start the service in the back of the cabin, and this passenger will blithely and non-directionally shout, "I'll have a gin and tonic!" on your way past, when it is clear you are on your way somewhere, are not currently serving, and have not served anyone previously. Note: this is the way to get ignored.
The Emissary of Arcane Sign Language: this waste of time will curl his fingers into an unreadable gesture and display it as if it means 'Coke' or 'Sprite.' All it means is that I can't read your mind.
The How The F Should I Know Guy: at the beginning of every service, you make an announcement that covers what drinks and snacks you're going to be hurling at folk. Inevitably, people will not listen, and you'll have to go through the litany again. Not a problem... as much a waste of time as Hum-Bruhs are, I gotta admit that I've never been vigilant for an entire plane ride. But this guy isn't just not paying attention... he's not paying attention and insulted that you would think he would know what the snack choices are. He's perfected the shaking head thrust, shoulder shrug, and empty hand gesture that clearly says, 'well how the F should I know what snacks you have?' This guy can also be found under J, for Jackhole.

To be continued...