Quest For Coat

Seems life out here is a series of quests. The latest one I've undertaken is for a good coat. When I got here, I grabbed a green sweatshirt from Wal-Mart, but recent weather has laughed at that endeavor. So I envisioned a Navy pea coat-type affair, and then sought to make it happen. Harder than you might think. They make all kinds of those things for chicks, but not for guys. Guy pea coats congregate in dark corners in Bangladesh, playing mahjongg drunkenly and scattering at my approach. I courted one at Kohl's for about twenty minutes, but it was just this much too small. And so, after a brief eternity and when I thought all hope was lost, I stumbled into Old Navy (where, apparently, I should have started), and the quest came to an end.

Here I stand, victorious and exulting in the skins of mine enemy. Pretty snappy, huh?