How To Unkill Someone

What an amusing day.
I had done first aid before in the Army, and it's very brief there. Things along the lines of, 'if severed limb is present, transport with but out of sight of victim.' There was CPR, of course, but that was then.
This is now.
The first aid instructor said that American Heart Association has determined that we the people are wasting too much time looking for a pulse. We can't find it, we're finding our own, we're finding someone else's... it just wasn't working. So now, when looking for signs of circulation, we're just supposed to see if you're moving. At first, I thought that sounded like a crock. However, that was before I realized that if you're actually OK and get two huge honking rescue breaths, you are going to move. So it makes sense. Armed with this knowledge, we breathed into those spooky plastic half people, and mashed them when we weren't hyperventilating. Fun fun fun. This girl here discovered that you can pull their rubber faces off, and I really can't bring myself to describe what's under there.

We also beat a baby. These CPR babies put the ug in ugly, and part of the fun was learning the back blow technique, designed to smash loose whatever the helpless tots got jammed into their windpipes. And when some of us asked how hard you're really supposed to do that, the instructor confided that it's often called the Heinz 57 maneuver.
Wow. Condiment as metaphor for baby. I can't quite handle that.