Get Off My !@#$ Aircraft!

So most of the time, flight attendants serve coffee and throw peanuts at you. But it seems that when your plane is falling out of the sky, they have another job, and that job is called 'preparing the cabin.' When the captain tells you that an unceremonious landing is about to take place, you have to lock everything down in the cabin, up to and including the passengers, and then wait till said landing occurs, and then evacuate the people.
So, evacuation drills.
They made a mockup of the planes out of chairs, and we learned several very specific commands to bark at passengers. "RELEASE SEATBELTS, GET OUT! COME THIS WAY, GET OUT, GO!" We practiced choreographed movements that simulate holding back the trampling horde while turning on the emergency light system and peering out the window to see if the outside of the door is on fire. And the idea is to keep yelling, commands, something, anything, because if you stop, they fail you. Or if you yell the wrong thing. Or if you do the wrong movement. Or if you forget to turn on the damn lights. 75% of the class retested, but I am pleased to report everyone made it.

And though it was a silly few days, the mood was fairly somber... the Comair crash happened the morning we started the evacuation class. At dinner, we all clinked glasses for the flight attendant who died doing this very thing in the line of duty.